I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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