She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize