you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
