I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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