Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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