I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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