Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
bring money and cleavage
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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