i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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