I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
