all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
COCAINE IS GR8
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
