Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
