Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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