i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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