I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
