She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
