tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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