So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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