David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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