Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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