I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
