Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
