Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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