We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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