Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
