You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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