Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
