There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
