you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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