I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
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