And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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