Where did you get a picture of my penis
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
