Your tits are I can't wait for
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
