btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize