i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
