she takes plan B like it's going out of style
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
