i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
