Jerry, you need to find god
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
