I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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