Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
COCAINE IS GR8
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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