I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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