Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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