Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
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Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
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sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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