Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
