so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
