Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
