I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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