38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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