If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
