In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
