But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You are the jesus of drinking
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
