I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i already hear my dad disowning me
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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