How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
