So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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