I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
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