I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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