she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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