3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
